Caterina Christakos asked:
In the early days of the internet, most people agreed that meeting up with someone you’d met on the internet was a potentially dangerous idea. There were all those horror stories going around about young women whose sweet online boyfriends turned out to be creepy psychopaths in person. And then there were other stories about lonely singles being scammed out of money or becoming victims of identity theft.
Of course, scammers and creeps are still around, but today we’re all a little more internet savvy. While it’s always good to be careful, most of us are pretty good about screening people and making sure they’re the real deal before meeting them. Now the main issues have to do with the anxiety and emotional concerns that go along with meeting someone you’ve been chatting with for perhaps months. Will the person like you? Will you two get along in person as well as you do online? Will you lack chemistry? What if you’re not attracted to each other?
For now, set these worries aside. Just go for it-in a safe way, of course. You’ll never know until you try. Sure, things could turn out not so well, but it could also be a love connection.
Don’t forget safety: Just because we’re all a little more web-savvy than we were 10 years ago doesn’t mean that we don’t have to be cautious. Meet in a public location, and make sure someone knows where you’re going and whom you’re meeting. Even if you feel 100% sure that you know this person, it doesn’t hurt to be safe for the first meeting. Ideally, you’ll both want to take this precaution, and you could even make a lighthearted joke out of it.
Don’t bunk together: If you’re traveling to meet the person, have hotel arrangements, and provide your own transportation from the airport. This way is safer, and it also avoids uncomfortable situations. If it turns out the two of you don’t get along so well, you’ll want to have a home base to escape to. Similarly, if the person is coming to visit you, don’t offer to let them stay with you.
Relax: For whatever reason, meeting an online love interest can be even more nerve-wracking than other types of first dates. Some people even shut down and become unbearably shy. This may be partly because the person usually knows more about you than is typical for a first date, and there’s just something strange about finally coming face-to-face with someone who knows so much about you. The good news is that most people who have been through these experiences report that this feeling passes after a little while. So just get through the early minutes of the meeting, and you’ll be fine.
Be honest: If on your date you realize that the person isn’t a good match for you, don’t be afraid to be honest. This will save both of you a lot of trouble in the long run. Of course, be as polite as possible, but let the person know how you feel. If you want to do the right thing, it’s not a good idea to just end communication or give the cold shoulder. On the other hand, if you think you like your date, make it clear that you’re pleasantly surprised and that you’d like to meet again.
Vernon
In the early days of the internet, most people agreed that meeting up with someone you’d met on the internet was a potentially dangerous idea. There were all those horror stories going around about young women whose sweet online boyfriends turned out to be creepy psychopaths in person. And then there were other stories about lonely singles being scammed out of money or becoming victims of identity theft.
Of course, scammers and creeps are still around, but today we’re all a little more internet savvy. While it’s always good to be careful, most of us are pretty good about screening people and making sure they’re the real deal before meeting them. Now the main issues have to do with the anxiety and emotional concerns that go along with meeting someone you’ve been chatting with for perhaps months. Will the person like you? Will you two get along in person as well as you do online? Will you lack chemistry? What if you’re not attracted to each other?
For now, set these worries aside. Just go for it-in a safe way, of course. You’ll never know until you try. Sure, things could turn out not so well, but it could also be a love connection.
Don’t forget safety: Just because we’re all a little more web-savvy than we were 10 years ago doesn’t mean that we don’t have to be cautious. Meet in a public location, and make sure someone knows where you’re going and whom you’re meeting. Even if you feel 100% sure that you know this person, it doesn’t hurt to be safe for the first meeting. Ideally, you’ll both want to take this precaution, and you could even make a lighthearted joke out of it.
Don’t bunk together: If you’re traveling to meet the person, have hotel arrangements, and provide your own transportation from the airport. This way is safer, and it also avoids uncomfortable situations. If it turns out the two of you don’t get along so well, you’ll want to have a home base to escape to. Similarly, if the person is coming to visit you, don’t offer to let them stay with you.
Relax: For whatever reason, meeting an online love interest can be even more nerve-wracking than other types of first dates. Some people even shut down and become unbearably shy. This may be partly because the person usually knows more about you than is typical for a first date, and there’s just something strange about finally coming face-to-face with someone who knows so much about you. The good news is that most people who have been through these experiences report that this feeling passes after a little while. So just get through the early minutes of the meeting, and you’ll be fine.
Be honest: If on your date you realize that the person isn’t a good match for you, don’t be afraid to be honest. This will save both of you a lot of trouble in the long run. Of course, be as polite as possible, but let the person know how you feel. If you want to do the right thing, it’s not a good idea to just end communication or give the cold shoulder. On the other hand, if you think you like your date, make it clear that you’re pleasantly surprised and that you’d like to meet again.
Vernon
